The Sweetener

You fret over your size
so it's Diet you select.
Knowing your choice to be wise,
the flavor you neglect.

You've got only Coke Zero,
and nothing but Pepsi Free.
Now you're in need of a hero-
to keep your soiree from catastrophe.

So when I step into your party place,
you needn't have any fear
that your soda's watery taste
will ruin your festive cheer.

You see, I've got the Midas touch
with carbonated drink.
No more guests not saying much
because their softies stink.

In goes my finger, before you can try it,
I simply give it some swishes.
And now, though it's still technically Diet-
Your pop smells like regular and is just as delicious.