1. Set a velvet rope across the entrance and only let in those I deem "hip" enough.
2. Microwave 4 randomly selected items in their original wrapping for 2 minutes in the the Deli Express microwave.
3. Spend a night in the milk cooler.
4. Start a socialist movement using Gummi Worms to entice local people to join.
5. Perform an adaptation of The Godfather Part III for the security cameras with myself as Vincent Mancini.
6. Convince an Amishman that he needs to buy a motorcycle.
7. Fit 20 wrapped Andes mints in my mouth and spend my final shift quietly seperating chocolate from wrapper.
8. Create a life-size statue of Will Smith using only paper clips and leave it in the boss's chair after a week of assuring her that I had found a suitable replacement for myself.
9. Spend a shift insisting that each customer that has correct change give me a high-five.
10. Hide a tape-player in the wall that will play a tape of me saying simply, "buy more beef jerky" every 2 hours.
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