What Are You Beeping About?

There are a number of things that beep and or tweet in the Mini Mart. The coffee brewer beeps twice when it's done. The door beeps thrice when a customer enters. The gas pump monitor beeps when someone has finished pumping. It tweets repeatedly when I fail to authorize a previous pump before a new customer tries to pump. The cash register chirps every time I hit the right button. If I happen to hit the wrong button (which could be any of the buttons at any given time), it seems to scream at me. It's not an enraged scream. It's not even that loud. It's just incessant, like a battalion of irritated mosquitoes humming a unison pitch in their own tiny double forte. Most of the time I can stop the machine from doing this without completely ruining the transaction. Sometimes, I just have to start over.

I've gotten used to most of these sounds. I don't even really hear them anymore. Last night, however, the computer that monitors the fuel tanks started to go off. It was a high-pitched whine that went off and turned on at irregular intervals. It could be heard all over the store. I was told to "just put up with it."

At first I did "just put up with it." I went about my regular routine. I stocked pop. I Windexed every glass surface I could find. I drew the illustration for this blog entry. After a while though, I noticed a splitting head ache that was creeping up on me. I started to drop things. After six hours I was irritable. I told customers to "count their own damn change."

"Oh alright," they conceded, "say, what's that sound?" In response, I only giggled maniacally while wiping the counter in front of them and staring them directly in the eye. They paid for their handful of Tootsie Rolls and left.

By 10:20, I wasn't even sure of my name anymore. I locked the outside ice coolers and went to my car. I turned the ignition and a Barenaked Ladies song was on the radio. I wondered what they were so damn happy about.

I opened the window and tuned into a talk radio station.