Ode to Dissatisfaction

You'd better have my brand today,

or I don't know what I'll do.

I'll whine and cry and point my finger;

blaming only you.

I'll stomp around the store and scream.

I'll knock things off the shelves.

And, of course, my kids will be

throwing tantrums for themselves.

They're angry now because you say

you won't allow in pets,

and I'm pissed off 'cause you don't have

my brand of cigarettes.

The other stores that I go to,

they have the things I need

and customer service that has no peer

when it comes to speed.

But when I come into this store,

I see your dopey face.

I know to hope for more than correct change

would simply be a waste.

So I'll be sure to tell your boss

you couldn't please today,

and she will know it's all your fault

when I go, instead, to Holiday.