An elderly woman came into the Mini Mart last night and asked me to cut for her a pound of deli ham. I took out the ham and began to slice. She asked for very thick slices, which usually makes it incredibly hard to slice the meat into an exact weight. I began to slice and lay the pieces of ham on the scale. After seven slices or so, the scale read exactly one pound.
At this point, I intended to say, “hey, right on the nose!” I meant, of course, that we had hit the weight “right on the nose.” I said, instead, “hey, right on the nuts!”
The phrase came out of my mouth and sort of hung there like a puff of smoke. I quickly tried to justify it in my mind. It’s a common figure of speech, I said to myself. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the male reproductive organs.
But after thinking about it during the silence that ensued following my little “figure of speech,” I realized that there was no other way to look at it. I had made a reference to testicles while slicing lunch meat for a sweet old lady.
She knew what I meant, I knew what I meant and there was no getting around it: I had hit it on the nuts.
At this point, I intended to say, “hey, right on the nose!” I meant, of course, that we had hit the weight “right on the nose.” I said, instead, “hey, right on the nuts!”
The phrase came out of my mouth and sort of hung there like a puff of smoke. I quickly tried to justify it in my mind. It’s a common figure of speech, I said to myself. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the male reproductive organs.
But after thinking about it during the silence that ensued following my little “figure of speech,” I realized that there was no other way to look at it. I had made a reference to testicles while slicing lunch meat for a sweet old lady.
She knew what I meant, I knew what I meant and there was no getting around it: I had hit it on the nuts.
1 comment:
oh dave, its a gem
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