Disaster with Flirting

I had softball practice tonight. I am in an awful lot of pain.
Actually, I was in an awful lot of pain. About an hour ago I took two Tylenol PM.
Actually, I took two things from Equaline for pain relief in the PM. They are so generic that their name isn’t even capitalized on the bottle. They are literally called pain relief PM. And despite a name that does nothing more than describe what they do, they are effective. What you see is what you get with pain relief PM.
So… I decided that I would try to hammer out a blog entry before this medicine forces me to go to sleep.
In this entry I want to talk about women. Actually, I think that the pain relief PM may want me to talk about women…

That’s as far as I got on Monday night. The pain relief PM got me and I ended up staring at an out-of focus computer screen for fifteen minutes. When it’s that much of a struggle to get through a five- hundred word blog entry, it’s time to call it quits.
So now it’s Wednesday and I’m giving this another try- this time without pain relief PM (or AM, for that matter). Where was I? Oh yes… women. I wanted to talk about women. I wanted to talk about them because I can’t talk to them as of late.
I was playing ska trumpet at a local pizza place/live music venue a couple of weeks ago and I kept running into an attractive young lady at the large communal sink outside the restrooms. The second or third time we met there washing our hands at the same time, she said something like, “I think maybe our meeting like this is more than a coincidence.”
I saw an opportunity and seized it. I said, “Yeah, we must be on the same schedule.” The conversation ended there. Same schedule? Even I wondered what I meant by that. We go to the bathroom at the same time? Creepy. I saw a little opportunity to flirt and I beat it to death with my flip-flop. I should have just said, “Yeah… I’ve been watching you from the stage and this is the third time I’ve followed you over here. I like your sweater.”
Then there’s the girl at the gym that smiles and waves at me from the treadmill. She seemed very sweet and friendly, but I didn’t know her name. So, one day about two weeks ago, I decided to make it a point to introduce myself. When she smiled at me that day, I asked if we had actually met. She said no. I told her my name and she told me hers and then shortly afterward, she said, “have a nice workout,” and we parted. She didn’t seem all that interested in moving our interactions beyond a smile and a wave, so I let it drop. Two days later, she approached me at the water fountain with a hearty, “Hey Dave!”
“Hey there… you.”
She told me about the relaxing massage she had just received and I stood there and nodded stupidly. I had initiated our introductions because it was very important to me that I know her name. Two days later, I had no idea what her name was.
After a very one-sided conversation in which she used my name at least two more times, she said, “well, see you later, Dave. Have a nice workout.”
“Alright… you too.”
She continues to wave and smile at me from the treadmill, and she occasionally says, “Hey Dave!” on her way in or out of the gym. I, however, am unable to get to know her any better because… well… I’m an idiot.
You know… I think maybe I will give those pain relief PM another go. Sleep tight, everybody.