Double Click If You Love Me

I wrote this rock ballad for Internet.

Dear Internet… ooooohh…
Gosh I think you’re awesome…
You helped me find a used copy of
the second season of “Blossom.”

You are my window to the world,
And 649 friends on Facebook.
Haven’t said more than one word to most of them;
But at their profiles I’m allowed to look.

And If I buy anymore useless crap,
With my profile on Ebay,
I won’t be able to afford groceries,
And they’ll probably take my car away…

Spoken: But you’ll help me find another one… won’t you? Internet?
(Instrumental break with sweeping strings and an imposing snare on the off beats)
Dear Internet… oooooohh…. I love youuuuuuuu….

Dear Internet…oooooohhh….

Dear Internet… ooooohhh…
Gosh I think you’re really sweet.
You know about my short attention span.
Screw paragraphs… I only need a “tweet”.

But in case I want to give the people
More of my inner monologue,
And other crap that they don’t care about
You’ve given me this totally free blog.

Dear Internet…. I love youuuuuuu….

Dear Internet, I have one last request,
Don’t let me leave my love upon a shelf.
Help me connect with my true love…
Or at the very least, help me to love myself.

Dear Internet…. I love youuuuu….
Whispered: Click, Click…