My hair is rebelling against me.
It's been drawing back on the top of my head for some time. Now I've noticed that the hair at my temples is turning gray. Just a few of them are standing out at the moment, but I can read the writing on the wall.
I've always planned on taking this inevitability in stride. But now that it's happening, I'll admit that I'm a little concerned. How will I handle this?
Let me take you to the future. Let me take you to a place where flying cars, self-drying jackets and hover boards are common.
Let me take you to the year 2015.
It's been six years since I last shaved. The few gray hairs at my temples have spread and now I have a snowy-white mane. I'm like a crazed, trumpet-wielding Santa Claus.
I'm married to Megan Fox. It was a difficult courtship, but finally I was able to forgive her for starring in Transformers 2. We are currently living happily on a floating city created entirely of empty water bottles made as a refuge from rising sea levels. We have a pet polar bear. His name is Melty and we feed him canned tuna.
I can sense your incredulity concerning my ability to woo Megan Fox. The explanation is simple. You see, horn players in ska bands are the ultimate sex symbol in the year 2015. Our coupling surprised no one.
That's what I call taking it in stride.
PS... by the year 2015, all humans will have a tiny Apple product called the iLobe implanted in their brains at birth. The iLobe will hold 10,000 songs, 3,000 full-length movies and will make the entire human race completely obedient to the will of Steve Jobs.
4 comments:
Will you please make sure that most parts of this story are true. Its your choice on which elements to pursue.
It says grassroots farm, but its really corey...
Brilliant, per yoozhe.
I can't wait to have my implant. I've been waiting for a news scroll in my line of vision during conversations with humans for years. It might be the only thing that makes me bearable for long stretches of time.
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